Fool Me Once
by ShikaShake15
Summary: Fool me once sham on you, fool me twice shame on me. Will he get a third chance to fool her again or will he do it right this time? Sirius/OC James/Lily
1. Fifty Shades of Jade

**(AN: Here's hoping anyone who reads this story likes what they read if you do I would like it if you left a review, faved and follow this story. Thank you if you do. :—))**

**Chapter One: Fifty Shades of Jade**

Him, an athletic Quidditch player who could get any girl he could ever want at the drop of a hat. Me, a book nerd who's very concerned with her studies and gets rather flustered whenever a remotely attractive guy comes around and gives me little to no attention.

What's a girl to do when she's been crushing on this guy since her Second Year and can't let it go to save her life? I don't know why these feelings are growing and continues to grow every time I see him even when he comes back to the Common Room after snogging some girl that I always feel jealous of. Even if they have brief moments of his time snogging and shagging... I'm still left with bitter jealousy and I _loathe_ it.

Speaking of the devil, here he comes right back from snogging Meredith Fowler...

"Oi everyone," he said flopping right down on the couch right beside his best friend Potter.

I saw Lily Evans— my best friend in the whole wide world— narrow her eyes at him and especially at Potter's typical hyped up best friend reaction. She hates them both or at least that's what she constantly tells me anyway, but personally I think she's secretly attracted to Potter and refuses to admit it probably because he _can't_ give up on her.

"Ignore them, Jade," Lily said rolling her eyes at them, "they are such Neanderthals."

"They could be way worse," I said honestly and not looking up from my leather bound book since I expected a deep scowl from her.

"How? How could it be worse?" She said irritably.

I thought it was obvious, but I guess her hatred for them has blinded her. She's hated Potter specifically ever since First Year when he would pull stupid things like punch her on the arm (not enough to really hurt her) or bump into her as a stupid way to show his crush on her in the most immature way. Even though I don't understand Lily's friendship with Snape, I understand why she would become spitting mad whenever Potter bullies him. However, overall he's a nice guy... especially to the girls; I don't know if that's a good thing or not because he can be _too_ friendly.

"At least they're not nose deep in the Dark Arts," I whispered reasonably.

She was silent for a moment and during that moment I went back to what I was writing. I was writing in my diary about all that I feel and everything that happens... memories are way too important to forget and I want to remember everything that's happened all throughout my Hogwarts years.

"They're equally as bad," she said throwing her hands into the air, "they bully and hex who they see fit for no purpose whatsoever and you're saying their decent people because they don't use Dark Spells."

"Oi," Potter exclaimed right in front of Lily seeing her getting fired up, "what are you two lovely ladies talking about? It wouldn't happen to be me by any chance, would it?"

Lily scoffed, got up and expected me to follow her up there eventually by the look her green eyes were giving me. I sighed deeply and avoided the gazes of the two boys in front of me as much as possible as I hurriedly finished up my diary entry.

"Seriously Jade," Potter whined as I got up, "why does she hate me?"

I avoided Sirius' gaze as I spoke, "She doesn't _like_ you because you harass her and bully her friends."

I then scampered up to the Dormitory and up the stairs where I know it will be safe to talk freely amongst friends. Once I got up there Lily was livid, so I just placed my finished school work in my bag and placed my messenger bag next to my trunk. I kept my diary beside me preparing to read what I wrote to myself as I tuned out Lily's rant of how she _hates_ James Potter.

_Dear Diary,_

_I find myself still longing for Sirius Black and I don't know why I still do. The rational part of my brain tells me to be careful and let it go... others can hurt you. Then there's the irrational part of my brain that constantly screams at me that I should be brave and do whatever it takes to get what I want. I'm at war with myself..., but I don't want to be the girl who doesn't who's feelings she hurts to get her man._

_I can't stop fantasizing about how much I wish to run my fingers all throughout his dark ebony hair, feeling his warm lips pressed against mine, and smell the scent of his pleasing and masculine musk. No, no, that is ridiculous... I could never have that happen for me or for him._

_I realize you are off limits, Sirius Black, but why? I find everything about you attractive; even when you hex people alongside Potter I still find you irresistible at your core. Your barking laugh, your __"innocent" _smile that could get any girl to let you shag them, your deep and rich voice that causes shivers to run up and down my spine when you're in practically in my ear.

_I'm hopeless._

_I'm completely and utterly hopeless._

_Ta-ta for now,_

_—Jade Dodoria_

I decided it was good, so I shut my diary and tapped it with my wand murmuring a soft incantation to lock it from prying eyes.

From what I can see Lily's calmed down and she's on her bed talking about nothing that particularly interested me... until I heard this:

Scarlet said, "Yeah, Sirius was with that little tramp tonight, wasn't he?! He doesn't care anymore and I thought he did... I thought I was special to him."

Oh yes, another Sirius Black cast off... one of my good friends Scarlet Zarbon. I don't feel even the slightest bit of sympathy because I warned her, I _warned_ her and yet she dismissed me entirely and went for him anyway. Whether I warned her out of genuine concern at the evidence presented in front of _everyone_ or out of jealousy that he chose her over me for the time being, it does not matter... what matters is the fact that I did warn her and she ignored and even snapped at me.

I will never get tired if telling her I told you so in creative ways as I said it in the most sarcastic tone ever, "No one listens to Jade whenever _she_ speaks because no one cares to hear what she has to say when she's right... I told you so."

She looked annoyed beyond believe as everyone else began to laugh and I just smiled. She only has herself to blame, she got herself into this mess and she can get over it. Scarlet could have taken heed to my warning, but she didn't and that's her fault. Even though, I am dying to know what it was like to kiss and feel him...

After the laugher died down Hazel spoke up, "I feel you, Scarlet, last year he did the same thing and he didn't even have the guts to tell me face to face."

Ivory began to chuckle, "It's probably because he knows you'd turn him into a singing watch... you are the best at Transfiguration!"

I rolled my eyes and everyone began to laugh loudly at the thought of it.

* * *

xXx

* * *

The next day was rather boring until I got to History of Magic... as everyone knows this is the class that Potter harasses Lily the most. Professor Binns doesn't notice or care as long as he continues to drone on and on which makes it difficult to take notes. It wasn't any different today than it was any other day.

"Pst, Evans," Potter said in the seats ahead of us trying to get her attention.

Lily ignored him and I did too. I need to concentrate if I want to at least _pass_ this class for Pete's sake... the same goes for Lily. However, like usual, Sirius and Potter don't give a rat's arse about their school work.

"Pst, Dodoria," Sirius said using my surname.

I felt my traitorous heart skip a little at him paying attention to me despite it just being to pester me out of boredom. I just continued to look at my scroll and write on it, but after the next ten "psts" Lily and I snapped.

"WHAT?!" We snapped.

Whoops, that was _way_ too loud. Even Professor Binns stopped teaching to look up at us and reprimand us for it.

"Ladies in the middle," he said, "keep it down."

He then went back to his monotonous drone and it felt like my face was on fire. I think my face and neck were the color of Lily's hair which is a shameful shade for your face. All the while, Sirius and Potter were cackling like jerks as I could tell Lily was about to snap at them again out of embarrassment and her natural temper that flares... I placed a hand on her arm to calm considering that this is what they're trying to do: provoke another reaction out of her.

"Let it go, Lily," I whispered softly not able to take my eyes off the back of Sirius' head, "this is just what they want."

She seemed to calm down a little and return to taking notes. I let out a sigh of appreciation since this meant things wouldn't get crazy, but Potter always pushes it and he let out another "pst". Then it was beyond my control...

Lily snapped and threw one of her quills at him with the pointed tip at him and he merely caught it with his talented Seeker hands. Potter winced as the needle-like end poked his hand and Lily smirked. Sirius let out a soft barking laugh that made my heart race quite a bit.

"Ow Evans," he said, "that hurts, you know."

"You can suck it up," she said bitingly.

_This_ is why I haven't told her about long term crush on Sirius... she would not approve and I don't want to put up with Lily's judging or bullshit. There's the hope that she'll surprise me, but it's too much of a risk to be honest and I'm not a risk taker.

We went to lunch after History of Magic and I couldn't help but observe from afar at what Sirius was doing. He was talking to Fowler again and I couldn't tear my eyes away despite this hurting quite a bit watching this. He was whispering in her ear, hands in her hair and against her thigh traveling toward her center, and she was giggling as he began to kiss the side of her face.

I looked away and stabbed my chicken with unnecessary anger in my actions. Why must I punish myself like this? I _know_ what he does with other girls... they brag loudly at first and then they cry loudly after he's finished. In fact, I live with a cryer in my Dormitory... and I overall consider her a friend and although when she snapped at me when I warned her completely destroyed my sympathy for her.

"Look at him," Scarlet hissed at Lily, Hazel, Ivory and I, "he's such a dog!"

I had to bite my bottom lip feeling it quiver slightly, my throat begin to feel really hot and constrictive, and my eyes begin to sting quite a bit. No, no, I won't cry I can't not now or ever in the Great Hall where everyone will see me full of tears... especially the Slytherins who will— I have no doubt in my mind— will use it for future bullying.

Everything is just worse when Scarlet points out Sirius' promiscuity. Whenever I see it or hear it I can't help it but I always fantasize about him doing such intimate things to me..., except with love and genuine promises behind it. It's selfish and stupid, but I can't help it...

"Oi!" Sirius exclaimed plopping down right beside me causing me to jump slightly.

Oh bullocks, he gave me such a fright! That's not even the bad part, now he's sitting next to me with his thigh casually brushing up against mine... I don't think he's even aware of my existence except when to annoy me much less his leg brushing up against mine. I sort of hide myself amongst my friends and try to avoid as much trouble as possible... that's probably why he's never sought me out or tried anything with me.

Anyway, my friends ignored him and narrowed their gazes at Sirius. He pouted and it reminded me off a cute little puppy when their put out on the porch. I didn't follow suit when it came to them shutting him out, I just focused on my chicken and rice hoping he wouldn't stop sending such warmth to my cold, in comparison, leg.

"Oh come on," he said playfully and practically in my ear, "don't shut me out. I'm quite a lot of fun when you get to _know_ me."

I kept the shiver at bay... I suppose why he's rather specifically singling us out is because Potter is completely surrounded by other people since everyone pretty much wants to be near him.

I peeked up at Scarlet and Hazel and I saw a lot of anger and fire behind their eyes... uh-oh. I couldn't take this anymore... I feel pressured, trapped and Sirius' close proximity is making my head a little fuzzy. I immediately stood knocking over a glass of cider, grabbed my stuff and got off of the bench.

"I got to go...," I mumbled, "bye."

I walked rather quickly out of the Great Hall and toward the classroom for Potions. The door was locked since it was fairly early for class to start, so I plopped down against the wall and pulled out my diary. I began to write:

_Dear Diary,_

_What do you do when the one thing you want more than anything is the one thing that will destroy you?_

_Dramatic, is it? Well, if I put out to the whole school that I have this monumental crush on Sirius Black it will destroy me socially and most likely academically. However, keeping this from my friends has spun this web of guilt and tension in my gut and it's making me feel guilty for my feelings and necessary secret keeping._

_What would Scarlet, Hazel, Lily and Ivory say if I told them? They would probably laugh thinking I was joking and everything, but I'm not joking one bit and then comes the shutting out... or at least mostly on Lily, Scarlet, and Hazel's part that is._

_What will getting this off of my chest accomplish? Will it attract Sirius? Most likely not. Will my friends appreciate it? Bloody hell no. Will it make me feel better inside? Temporarily._

_I wish I wasn't shy around everyone except my friends... I don't even know why I got into Gryffindor. It was probably because I'm extremely loyal to my friends and family._

_Ta-Ta for now,_

_— Jade Dodoria_

* * *

xXx

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the table with her friends and Sirius... they were in silence. It lasted for about two minutes before Scarlet— being sharp of tongue— started telling it like she perceived it using her anger at Sirius to back it up.

"You're an arse! You made Jade run off!" She exclaimed.

This completely befuddled Sirius. What did he do other than sit down next to her and flirt with the general female population at the table? Did his flirtation really cause her to get up and leave? He's never had that effect on girls before...

"Me?! What did I do?!" He demanded not liking being accused of things he didn't do.

"You start flirting with everyone at this table and being rude..., she obviously couldn't take it anymore! Go and apologize!" Lily said not liking her best friend being hurt by someone like Sirius.

Sirius looked taken aback at the sudden bombardment of estrogen fueled anger at the need to protect friends. Normally, he would appreciate the loyalty and protectiveness of friends, but he felt like was being wrongly villainized. However, the intense glares and promises of pain caused Sirius to get up and go searching for the girl he apparently hurt.

* * *

xXx

* * *

"Dodoria!" My heart began to race... it was Sirius' voice.

Fudge! I better put away my diary otherwise he'll probably try to take a peek at the embarrassing truth that's all written down. I followed my routine of closing, locking and storing my diary away in my messenger bag. I looked up and I saw deep pools of grey that I had to look away from him...

"There you are," he said annoyed, "I was calling your name. Why didn't you answer?"

"I want to be alone," I mumbled.

Sirius sighed and sat down next to me and this time our legs weren't brushing up against each other, it's like he was making sure that didn't happen. I felt this panicky feeling brew inside me like thinking that he's aware of my feelings.

"Well, cheer up," he said brightly, "I couldn't have possibly disturbed you that badly, did I?"

Disturbed me? What in the bloody hell is he talking about? I better go with it... I don't know what else to come up with to explain me running off except that I like him... a lot.

"No," I said playing it up a little, "I'm fine now."

There was a short pause before either of us spoke...

"Potions...," he smiled playfully, "I'm not really good at this subject. I kind of suck at it actually."

"I'm good at potions, I could tutor you," I blurted out before I even considered the consequences.


	2. A Fanatic Heart

**Chapter Two: A Fanatic Heart**

Here I was getting ready for the study session under the hope and dillusion that this was a date thing. I couldn't help it, wouldn't your hopes sky rocket? Even if this is the tenth time we've done this and our fifth year exams are tomorrow I still felt excited.

I looked into the mirror in the bathroom of the Dormitory... I hate my appearance and I'm not acting like one of those bitches who claims they're ugly because all they want is attention from anyone who will give it to them. No, I actually mean it when I say I'm ugly. My face looks like a friggin' pizza because none of my acne solutions work... that includes a lot of Muggle products, I have "birth control" glasses because that's the only glasses my Mum could find, my hair is flat and has wierd waves going in wierd directions, and I tend to wear baggy robes because they are the most comfortable so no one gets to see that I'm actually thin and have a somewhat decent figure. Also, I have the most generic coloring: brown eyes, brown hair, and fair skin except my skin is riddled with acne. So, yeah, I'm quite the ugly duckling, but I'll get over it eventually...

I blinked at my appearance and then gave up deeming it hopeless. I grabbed my bag, exited the Common Room with a wave to my friends, and left. I walked down the moving staircases and when I took a sharp left I hung back a little because I heard giggling from Fowler and Sirius' deep voice. I was curious and I didn't want to interrupt their intimate conversation... that would be awkward.

"Why? Why do you have to leave me for Dodoria? I mean what kind of last name is Dodoria anyway?!" I could hear jealousy in her tone and I felt some pride swell in me.

"It's alright, baby," he said lowly and it even caused shivers to go up and down my spine and I'm not even close to him, "she's just tudoring me... I'm only going to talk to her and be around her after exams which are tomorrow. After that I won't talk to her ever again... she's just an egg head."

"Well, I don't know," I swear I _heard_ Fowler pout, "maybe you've got a thing for geeks."

Okay, that kind of hurt, but then again it's from Fowler... her words I don't put a lot of stock into, but what Sirius said stung. I'm just being used for him to get a passing grade in Potions? That's all? He won't talk to me anymore..., ever? I felt the tears welling up, but I bit my lip forcing myself not to cry. That can't be enough to make me cry... I can't in public anyway.

"Call me old fashion, but I like my women hot... like you," he said and then I heard the slogging commence.

So yes, I am ugly... I wasn't wrong. The only thing wrong here is the fact that he pointed it out, was extremely rude about it, and he is basically using me for his own academic gain. I ran into the nearest girl's bathroom and began to cry... for once I was thankful it was Moaning Myrtle's bathroom because no one goes in there.

I ignored Myrtle's constant yelling as I sunk to the dirty floor and began to ball my eyes out. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I think I could mean something to him? This pain is becoming too great in my chest and I could feel an entirely different emotion brewing inside me as the minutes dragged on of crying. It was anger. There's such a fine line between love and hate...

I rose from the floor and I could feel anger electrically charged into my gut at one person who's to blame for this: Sirius Black. I walked over to the mirror to a silenced Myrtle since my since my expression changed from horrible sadness and crying to one of anger and agitation in about less than two seconds. It would shock most beings with a decent mind.

"What's with you? Your crying was amusing... go back to it," she began to cackle softly to herself at the memory.

I didn't say anything and cleaned up my face from the tears... fortunately my eyes weren't too puffy underneath. I exited the bathroom and I had a plan... a damn good one too. I walked up to the third floor where the library is located and saw Sirius smiling like he wasn't talking shit about me earlier.

"Hey Dodoria," he said.

"Hello Black," I said faking the most forced smile I could muster, "I'm done tutoring you in Potions."

"What?" He said looking taken aback.

"Despite all the material we've gone through," I kept the smirk at bay as I was about to use my advanced vocabulary to really sink in what he's lost academically wise and speak it quickly, "and the positive stimulation of the various properties, ingredients and measurements we've analyzed and deduced you still have no idea what the vital difference between a salamander and a newt is. As amusing and challenging as it was to test and experiment on someone as dimwitted and barely able to think on a human level to see if I could achieve the impossible, it's proved futile to expect enhancements in the occipital lobe of your brain."

With that said I left him seeing as he didn't have anything to say and he just stared in sheer disbelieve and confusion at me. I then left feeling anger deep in my gut met with equally as powerful sadness.

I mounted the moving staircase, gave the password to the Fat Lady, and entered the Common Room bounding up to the Dormitory. I barely saw in my line of vision that Lily was following me up the stairs. I flung my stuff down to the floor before completely burying myself in my sheets and drawing the curtains up around me. I couldn't cry anymore, but all the bad feelings of heart break and anger were still there.

"Jade! What's wrong?" I heard Lily exclaim as she entered our Dormitory.

My voice was muffled and refused to give a clear message of "leave me alone". I then felt like I've been shifted and then came the blinding light that Lily revealed to me. I blinked trying to cover my eyes from the painful light as I saw my best friend's worried face.

"What's wrong?" she asked again.

"I don't want to talk about it...," I said softly.

She gave a small smile, "Well come on, we'll go into the Prefect Bathroom and get you all cleaned up."

I sat down near the edge of the giant built in tub after I got cleaned up at the sink needing to sit down and as the Prefect's best friend I had access to such nice facilities since she was made Prefect this year. Lily doesn't like to abuse her power, but she deemed this as kind of a crisis. She was sitting beside me waiting for me to answer why I'm so upset and why I was crying— my puffy eyes gave it away.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you," I said softly looking away from her gaze, "I _had_ this huge crush on Sirius Black since Second Year."

I didn't hear a response and when I looked up and her face was serious as she spoke, "It's okay, I've known since last year... Now, what do you mean _had_?"

I let out a long sigh before I continued feeling a weight lift off of my chest a divulging my secrets, "He's said some really rude things to me... I've given up on him."

I know I can't just give up on somebody completely and irrevocably just because I declare it so, but it's a start. Every time now that I think of his silky hair, handsome face, and dark grey eyes I think of all the rude things he said to me... it was working.

Lily looked extremely angry as she said, "What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter," I said reasonably, "what matters is the fact that I have given up on him and his insults are what pushed me to do it."

It felt like tear were about to spill again from my eyes before Lily hugged me tightly. I hugged her back with full force, genuine hugs are the best medicine for sadness.

* * *

xXx

* * *

A few days after the exams and actually the day we're supposed to go home— fortunately we've still got some time— the girls and I were hanging out by the lake, our toes and feet were dipped into the water, and we were all laughing, giggling and carrying on like friends are supposed to do. We were making horrible jokes about Black... Hazel and Scarlet were all on board.

"I bet he only waits about two seconds before jumping to another girl... One second to see if they're easy and the other second to see if they're pretty," I said before everyone began to burst into laughter.

These were terrible things to say, but I don't give a rat's arse. In fact, I probably wouldn't care if he heard it himself... he knows there's truth behind this. In the next second we heard the train's whistle signaling that there's ten minutes until the train is going to leave.

"Oh bullocks!" I exclaimed.

We all ran with the wind flying through our hair and thankful that we left our trunks up there instead of with us at the lake. It felt good to run and feel the wind tossing our hair and brushing up against our faces... I know it felt good for me at least. We got there on the train on time panting softly and with slightly hysterical smiles on our faces.

We do this every year to see if we'll make it and we always do, but oh my goodness I think we're getting too old for this. I mean, I feel it in my lungs... that terrible burning.

"Ugh," Ivory grunted, "I'm too shapely for this!"

"Oh shut it," we huffed feeling playful.

We boarded the train and sat down next each other. I pulled my knees up to my chest feeling this was the most comfortable position to be in right now; it feels safe. We were still laughing from our crazy run from the lake to the train... runner's high, I suppose.

"So," Scarlet said, "what are you doing this summer, Jade?"

"She's coming home with me for about two weeks... or the whole summer, which ever," Lily answered for me giving me a side hug with a smile on her face.

Yep, I'm going to be spending the summer with my best friend in the whole wide world and I'm so happy. We can hang out, do girly things, she'll keep me from my constant thoughts of Black and keep me from my constant thoughts of Black... oh did I mention she'll keep away from my constant thoughts of Sirius Black.

"Well," Miranda Gobstopper said at our compartment door, "isn't that just... disgustingly adorable?"

Gobstopper, I hate her skanky fellow Gryffindor arse... she's a bully and she's Potter's frequent fall back girl whenever things get slow in the sleeping with girls department. She's disgusting, mean, and a trollop. _Why_ must she pick on us?

Also, she wasn't alone. She was flanked by her two even dumber friends... Chelsea and Alexia. Strangely enough, all of their names rhyme with each other; it's like their mothers before birth got together and decided to make their names rhyme like a stupid conspiracy.

"What are you doing here?" Lily hissed angrily at her.

"It seems one of you girls seemed to have nicked something very important from me," her ruby red claws tapped the door frame villainously.

What? We didn't nick anything from them as far as I know! She has got to be kidding me! Why is she pulling this crap with us?

"We didn't nick anything from you!" Hazel exclaimed.

I swear her skirt is meant for a five year old... it's way too short and tight... and not to mention transparent because everyone can see her thong. Also, she was wearing a shirt way too tight too, the buttons looked like it would smack you in the face if it pulled any tighter and it was low cut too. Gah, there's a little thing called subtly and leaving a _little_ mystery for the boys. She's just a trollop... and her friends are too.

"Oh," she said slyly directing her attention toward Lily, "it's not something physical you nicked from me. It's Jamesy-poo's heart... you nicked it Lily and I want it back."

What the bloody hell is wrong with her? She's completely off her bird and I want her out of here... now more than before.

"I didn't nick it, I don't want and you can have it all you want! Now get out of here!" Lily practically screamed.

Before Gobstopper could continue someone else appeared at our compartment door... it was Potter and Black. I looked away from Black and tried to slow down my racing and traitorous heart.

"Oh Jamesy-poo!" She exclaimed pressing her full body up against his and hugging him tightly around the neck.

"Get a room!" Ivory exclaimed sounding completely disgusted.

"Miranda," he said prying her arms out of her vice grip around his neck, "leave now, okay?"

She pouted and since her face was so heavily applied with make up it made her look like a scary clown, "Okay..., but you better make it up to me!"

She and her friends who were checking out Black and Potter left albeitly, obviously they wanted to flirt. I ignored Black and Potter's usually flirty and annoying greetings as I opted to look out the window to distract myself.

"Get out of here Black!" Lily exclaimed, "Just... get out of here!"

* * *

xXx

* * *

We got off of the train and I watched Lily leap into her Dad's arms and her mother gestured for a hug from me. I gave her a big hug and everyone was so happy... except Petunia.

"Lily! Jade! Oh, it's so good to see you two!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed.

"It's nice to see you too Mr. and Mrs. Evans," I said softly as I watched Mr. Evans take our trunks in each hand.

"How many times do I have to tell you, honey," she said still bright and cheery, "just call me Daphne!"

Lily's parents are such nice people. I wish my Mum and Dad were such nice people, but alas that is not the case. I hope Lily and Petunia realize how fortunate they are to have such nice and loving parents.

"Come on, let's hurry up! I want to get away from all the freaks in here!" Petunia exclaimed.

After that awkwardness of Petunia's hatred of magically inclined people and creatures we got in the car and drove. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were up front, obviously, and Lily was right in the middle between Petunia and I. I took the initiative to make conversation with the irritable sister.

"So, Petunia," I said softly, "what have you been up to?"

She looked happy to have the attention on herself, but she looked annoyed that a witch spoke to her. She answered the question anyway though.

"I've been busy," she said, "I graduated school last week and I've been with the man of my dreams for quite sometime and we're getting married soon."

I decided to roll with it, "That's always nice to end up with your dream man, who is he?"

"Vernon Dursely," she sighed dreamily.

I heard a gagging noise from Lily and I fought down a giggle. Petunia snapped at her and everything went quiet, so I decided to sleep against the cold window of the car instead of enduring anymore awkwardness...

I was awoken by Lily shaking me awake and I realized we were in Cokeworth. It was bright, filled with flowers on the summer day, there was a small lake beside us along with a play set and it had long rows of houses. We got out of the car when Mr. Evans parked in the garage.

Lily began to prattle on and on about how wonderful it was that I'm here, "We're going to have so much fun together! We're going to paint our nails, swim in the lake, and go out in the town..."

She began to trail off once we were both having trouble lugging our trunks up the stairs to her room. We dropped the trunks in the corner of her room and we both flopped into the bed and let out a stressed sigh.

"Wow," I sighed, "next year we'll be Sixth Years and the year after that we'll be graduating."

"Don't talk about that," Lily said playfully, "that's a scary thought. We need to live in the now, in the getting over Black and hating Potter club."

"Sounds good, only if I get to be minister of the club," I teased back.

"No, you can be the janitor."

After that I sat up and grabbed one of her nail polish bottles that was labeled "Lemon Seduction". It was a waxy yellow color and I liked it as I smiled at her with my success in color choice... it's definitely a summery color.

"I get to paint your nails first," I said.

After I got her toes done with the purple making all of her nails look like Easter... she asked me a question I wasn't quite expecting and it threw me for a loop for a short while.

"Are you thinking about revenge? He insulted you when you were helping him and liked you've like him for years."

Hm, revenge without actually causing him pain and getting in trouble with that. How should I really make him regret saying such cruel things to Fowler about me? What could really nail it to him? I've got it...

"Yes I am thinking about revenge, but," I said, "I'm going to need your help. Will you help me?"

"What are friends for?" She smiled.

Perfect...


	3. Beauty is Only Skin-Deep

**Chapter Three: Beauty is only Skin-Deep**

I spent the long three months hanging out with Lily and I swear she worked some magic on me, yet it's summer so I know she didn't. However, the outward appearances just changed so drastically all thanks to her. I really owe her; I don't know how I'll repay her, but I will, I promise.

I spent the days swimming in that lake, sun bathing with her, painting her nails wicked colors, going to beat places and most of all avoiding Snape. As much as I don't understand their friendship, I do feel bad for Lily because I can tell he meant a lot to her before he called her that absolutely unforgivably nasty word. I feel so bad for my best friend, so I tried to remind her that it's for the best because he's so deeply rooted in the Slytherin crowd of Dark Arts and other bullshit that nobody should be into.

Sorry in advance for my colorful language and ranting, but I can't stand someone hurting my best friend. Hazel had to hold me back from beating the crap out of him without my wand and just my fists.

Summer time was up... it was the morning of September 1st. I was nervous, excited and worried at the same time. My appearance has changed greatly... well to be honest all the basics are still there— as in my face is still the same, my hair hasn't been cut or dyed, my body hasn't changed since I was already fairly thin to begin with since I'm a teen— but things have indeed changed. It's all apart of my passive revenge against Sirius.

I stood facing the mirror. Butterflies in my stomach erupted at my improved physical attributes... confidence and bravery is what I need, I need to be like a true Gryffindor, to feel comfortable and confident at my more appealing appearance.

My hair was glossy and in loose ringlets that complimented my face, my face was clear of acne since we actually found a _genuine_ acne product, I got contacts, and much more complimenting clothes that didn't make me look like I was wearing a baggy trash bag for robes and Muggle clothes. Who knew I actually looked _pretty_? I was so friggin' shocked when I saw myself like this I had a whiplash even my BFF was shocked to her core too.

"Come on, Jade," Lily said, "you said you would put it on. Do you want to make him suffer and look pretty at the same time?"

Bloody hell yes! So many of my years have been wasted and dedicated to loving and crushing on Sirius Black. I swallowed thickly and took the mini skirt, pretty top, and black knee-length boots. Lily nodded to signal that I need to continue...

I slipped on the clothes and boots. I looked at myself in her full length mirror and I still just stared at my reflection.

"Is this really me?" I asked spinning around to check myself out laughing softly.

Lily giggled and appeared behind looking thoroughly pleased with her work. Why wouldn't she take pride in her work?

* * *

xXx

* * *

We were at King's Cross on Platform Nine and Three Quarters or at least we were about to be on Platform Nine and Three Quarters... my feet wouldn't move. I was too nervous and frightened to do anything. This is it, this is where it counts... this is where I will get my passive revenge.

"Come on, Jade," Lily said as her parents entered in the brick area, "be brave, you look beautiful."

"Okay," I said making my feet move step by step.

I closed my eyes as I was greeted by the crimson train. I blinked, felt my heart begin to race, and I saw eyes of each gender look up at me with all kinds of expressions... making me flush and stick close to Lily and want to put every protective thing on me all at once. I wanted to put on a turtle neck sweater, baggy jeans, wipe off all of my make up, put my hair up in a bun, and taking out these contacts and put on my big glasses again; I feel safe in those items.

"Well bye girls!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed.

"Bye!" We exclaimed and hugged her.

We got on the train and I still kept close to Lily since I feel safe and more comfortable that way. I looked down as we walked through the aisle as I tried to avoid stares. I heard a lot of chatter...

"Who's that?"

"She's hot! I've never seen her before! I'd like to know who she is!"

"Oh shut up, Tommy!" Then I heard a soft smack.

We finally found the compartment where our friends are and I sat down heavily. Ivory, Hazel, and Scarlet gave me a weird look causing me to just stare and keep the laugh from bubbling out of me. I could tell Lily was about to burst into laughter too.

"Um, Lily, who's this and where is Jade?" Scarlet said.

Lily began to laugh and I could tell there was swelling of pride in her work, "She is Jade! Who else would it be?"

"What?!" They all exclaimed.

I flushed at the attention and I fidgeted in uncomfortableness. Then they began to laugh in hysterics because my fidgetiness gave it away. Eventually their laughter died down and everything was left in silence.

"We've got to show you off in front of that trollop, Miranda," Ivory said, "she would be so livid... especially since James won't give her the time of day anymore. She moved onto Sirius."

I could feel anger boiling in my gut... he's moving on yet again. He keeps jumping from girl to girl, well this is one girl he won't have... Now, she's a pretty girl... shame on you Sirius Black shame on you.

My anger gave me confidence as I crossed my leg over the other and crossed my arms over my chest before saying, "Well, I'm not surprised. We've already established he's a man whore... it can't be helped."

Scarlet and Hazel began to laugh very bitterly understanding fully well the words I just spoke. Lily and Ivory just didn't say anything since they've never dated or should I say _shagged_ by Sirius Black. They're lucky and unlucky at the same time.

Just then we had visitors and I tightened my arms over my chest as I saw who it was, Miranda, Chelsea, and Alexia.

"Oh well if it isn't— Who the bloody hell is that?!" Gobstopper demanded pointing her red ruby claw at me accusingly.

I wanted to hide and proudly state who am and tell her to take a hike. However, Ivory beat me to it and I was grateful and yet I wanted to tell her to shut up too.

"It's Jade! Who else do you think it is?!" Ivory said looking livid, "Don't you see? She'a a lot prettier than you are!"

"That's Dodoria?" Gobstopper exclaimed looking so surprised with a face of pure amusement, "Oh, girl! Come over here! You have got to come see this! You have _got_ to come see this!"

This bitch only did this to get people to come over here and get everyone's attention to embarrass my shy arse and make me flush a shad of a thousand red roses. It was rather annoying especially when everyone with ears that work came over here and began to peer into our compartment. I wanted to die of embarrassment and annoyance when they were gathered before me and my friends. This is just awful, if I've ever felt the need to kill I feel it now.

"Can anyone guess who the curly haired brunette is?" Gobstopper said pointing at me.

The guys continued to stare causing me to become uncomfortable and Gobstopper was basking in my and everyone's uncomfortableness.

"She's Jade Dodoria," she smirked, "can any of you believe that?"

People were started talking louder about me and I could feel my face begin to heat up, so I stood up and slammed the compartment door shut with a huff. I then sat back down and crossed my leg again not wanting to hear anything else from those gossiping arseholes.

Hazel began to laugh at my general attitude and how I pretty much shut the people outside our compartment out with vindiction. I sighed softly expelling air from my lungs in a frustrated manner as things began to cool down again...

* * *

xXx

* * *

We were in the Great Hall and for the big welcome back feast and guess who decided to sit beside me? Black... Sirius Black. I could feel my heart racing as he sat on my right side with Lily on my left side. Remus, Potter, and Pettigrew were on the other side of us.

"Now," I heard Black's voice practically in my ear causing shivers and me to go a little stiff, "who are you darlin'? I would remember a face like yours."

I felt a hand on my thigh and I could feel my heart leaping and jumping out of my chest... Self control, self control that's what I need right now because my damn hormones and feelings are running wild right now. I forced myself to remember what he said to Fowler last year...

"Jade Dodoria," I said with a purposely alluring smile before squeezing his hand really hard and retracting it from my thigh, "and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't touch me, got it?"

Shock and surprise was written all over his face before I turned to more shocked faces of the rest of the Marauders. Now, my embarrassment is turning into full blown annoyance as I listened to the sorting.

"Are you serious?" A girl sitting not that far down from us asked.

"No, I'm Sirius," Black stated as he cackled at his own joke.

Everyone groaned in annoyance, that damn joke got old when we first met him at Hogwarts. He just continued to laugh at his own stupidity of a joke. I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore him, but he was too close, _too_ close. I was painfully aware of his warm skin and how his musk intoxicates me.

The sorting went by through in a haze... because of the fact that it was boring and my defenses against Black were breaking because of his close proximity, smell, and bark-like laughter. Why does he effect me so? He's hurt me emotionally and insulted me before this dramatic change in my looks, I should be giving him the complete cold shoulder and tell him to stick where the sun doesn't shine, but I haven't really though. I feel as if I failed, I truly failed here... at least I haven't truly given into hi advances.

When I got back to the Dorm Room I was writing in my diary:

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't know how I kept it together today? Lily's moral support along with my other friends is what did it. As much like looking like this and practically rubbing it in Black's face, I just can't help but feel so self conscious about how I look._

_I'm sorry if I come off as extremely shy and annoying, but I can't help any of this. I may curse my shyness over and over again, but it's apart of me that I have to work through. I'll eventually get there._

_One day I'll be able to be myself without being alone with my good and close friends. I promise that will happen._

_Ta Ta for now,_

_— Jade Dodoria_


End file.
